how can i keep from singing?

i sent the video of the rutter, because it's autumn and it suited my mood, which has been very down. i have just been diagnosed with RSD, aka CRPS, in my left foot. it is a painful, progressive neurological condition. this means i will never walk again, so my powerchair is my new BFF. it was just confirmed yesterday, and i've been having a hard time with it, obviously. i live in a great deal of pain, but this is a new level of hell. i have been trying to keep a balance of mourning and gratitude. i spent last night with dear old ludwig van and his 9th. it is always cathartic for me. i had to let myself feel the bitterness and anger, then let it be carried away on the "ode to joy"!  so i have gotten back to "normal" today, my normal which is to be Pollyanna. thus the other video, "how can i keep from singing?" that's who i really am. i can sing sitting down. i can have love and life and joy in a wheelchair. i am lucky to have all the modern mobility aides and treatments, as well as access to the finest doctors in boston. i hope to be back singing with Jubilate Chorale in january, if i can arrange transportation. that is the plus side of not being able to have the surgery to repair the torn achilles tendon. i won't have to miss another spring semester for surgery and grueling rehab, as i did 2 years ago! rejoice with me, i have love for life, and music keeping me from going over the cliff.